Wednesday, February 2, 2011

A Skit

Yo all! Here's a short skit I wrote to do at a Talent Show. It's a Cinderella spoof. I'm going to be playing the Wicked Stepmother and the Fairy Godmother. Enjoy!

Scene 1 – At Home
(Mother, Sisters “enter” from right. Cinderella is on left of “stage” sweeping)
Sister #1: Mother, Mother what is it?
Sister #2: Yeah, like, what is it?
Mother: Hold your horses, girls. I’m opening it. (Begins to open letter very slowly. Sisters run over to Cinderella)
Sister #1: Lookie, lookie Cinderella. We got a letter! (In Jar-Jar-Binks voice)
Sister #2: And you didn’t punk! Ha! (They run back to mother)
Sister #1: What’s it say?
Sister #2 on top of sister #1): What’s it say?
Mother: It says. (pause) Dear (pause) Lady (pause) Tremain…
Sisters Together: Faster!
Mother: My, my. Aren’t you picky! (Turns her back to the girls and continues to read. Girls jump at her back trying to see over her shoulder, grunting and whimpering. After a few moments, mother turns back around)
Sisters Together: What’s it say?
Mother: (raises eyebrows) It says that we’re all invited to the royal ball next week.
Sisters Together: GASP!
Cinderella: *groan*
Sisters Together: Can we go, can we go, can we go?
Mother: Of Couse, dearies. I’ll have the dressmaker come over tomorrow to get you all fitted out in the latest fashion!
Sister #1: Mother, what about Cinderella?
Mother: What about her?
Sister #2: Is she coming?
Mother: We’ll see, darlings, we’ll see. You run upstairs and go to bed. I’ll have a little talk with her. (Sisters leave “stage left”)
Mother: Well, Cinderella. Do you want to go to this ball?
Cinderella (stands and straightens herself): Yes, Ma’am, very much Ma’am.
Mother: Well, I’d have thought as much. Balls… *sigh*. Girls and their frivolities! Bosh! Well, you may go if you get all your chores done and help my wonderful daughters get ready. Then and only then can you go.
Cinderella: Yes, Ma’am, Thank you Ma’am. (Exits “stage left”)
Mother: No thanks necessary. *cackles evilly* (Slowly exits stage left)

Scene 2 – Night of the ball.
(Mother enters from left. Sisters enter from right, Cinderella, looking tired, a few steps behind them.)
Mother: Well, well. Are you ready girls?
Sisters Together: Oh yes! *squeals of delight*
Mother: Very well then. Have a good time. The coach is waiting! (Sisters exit right)
Cinderella: I’ve finished my chores, Ma’am.
Mother: Have you? But dear Cinderella, you know you can’t attend looking like that! I think you’ll have to skip this ball. Better luck next time! (Exits left, laughing to herself)
Cinderella (Sits down): It’s no use! All I ever have are chores chores chores! No time for any fun! They’re all brats! All of them!
Fairy Godmother (Enters from stage right): Oh, that’s not true! Well, it is but don’t’ believe it! Just believe in your sinful heart and a little black magic and anything can happen!
Cinderella: Um, who are you?
Fairy Godmother: I’m your fairy godmother, silly! Here’s a dress. There’s a coach outside in the lane waiting for you. Have a nice time! (begins to leave)
Cinderella: Wait, Thanks! I don’t even get a curfew?
Fairy Godmother: Oh, forgot about that! Yeah, be back by midnight otherwise you’ll be riding in rats and pumpkins! Oh, here are some shoes, too! (Tosses shoes to Cinderella. Leaves stage right)
Cinderella: Um thanks! (Exits stage left carrying dress and shoes)

Scene 3 – The Ball
(Step sisters on right of stage, chattering.)
Announcer (offstage voice, Ellie): *blows shofar* Welcome to the grand ball! Here’s the handsome prince! (Prince enters stage right, texting). Yeah, there’s only one of him, and a couple hundred of you girls. Have fun!
Prince: Oh, horror.
(Cinderella runs in from stage left.)
Prince: Woah, who’s she?
Cinderella: Sorry I’m late!
Prince: Let’s dance.
(Sisters play music through iPod with portable speakers? Prince and Cinderella slowly waltz to something like Owl City, totally off time. After a few moments, “clock tower” sound plays through iPod.)
Cinderella: *gasp* Hey, I got to go!
Prince: How rude! (Cinderella begins to leave) Wait! I love you!
Cinderella: Have my shoe so you can contact me again! (Tosses shoe to prince, exits left.)
Prince: Hey, wait. Can’t I have your cell number or an email or something?
Sisters (Exiting left): Sorry, punk. There’s no cell phones in the Dark ages!
Prince: A shoe? What on earth? (Exits stage right, texting)

Scene 4 – Back at the House
(Cinderella is sweeping, stage left. Mother is sanding stage center. Sisters enter from right.)
Sister #1: Mother, the prince is at the door to see us!
Sister #2: Yeah, he says he wants to talk to us. Something to do with that mysterious girl we saw at the ball!
Mother: Well, well. Bring him in. Cinderella: go to your room, now.
(Cinderella exits stage left)
Prince: Yo peeps!
Sisters Together: Hi!
Mother: Hello, your majesty.
Prince: Yo peeps. Epic mystery at hand! The mysterious girl has left me with only a shoe to contact her! So it’s national shoe fitting day and all the girls are up for a try.
Sister #1: Me first!
Sister #2: No! Me!
(Sister #2 grabs nearest empty chair and sits down. Sister #1 looks angry. Prince attempts to stick shoe on sister #2 and fails)
Prince: You’re foot’s too big and smelly to be the foot of my fair lady.
Sister #2: NO!
Sister #1: My turn!
(Sister #1 pushes sister #2 off chair and sits down with her foot out. Prince tries on shoe.)
Prince: My, my! It appears the trend is to have big feet. Well, do yo want to try Lady Tremain?
Mother: (shocked) Absolutely not!
Prince: Well, are these all the girls here.
Sister #2: Besides Cinderelly, yeah.
Mother: (Hushing her) There is nobody else here.
Prince: Who’s Cinderelly?
(Cinderella has begun to sneak back towards the “stage” hiding behind the judges’ stand, maybe?)
Mother: Nobody!
Prince: No need to yell, lady. Well, who’s that girl?
Mother and sisters: Nobody!
Prince: Yo! Come here and let’s try on this shoe, m’kay?
(Cinderella walks over and sits down, foot out. Prince tries it on, gasps, and then helps her up out of the chair.)
Prince: It fits! Hey, now that you have that shoe on, I can recognize you. Not like I couldn’t at all before. A cell number would’ve been an easier way to contact me. Well, let’s go get married and we’ll all live happily ever after!
Everyone (With grandeur): THE END!
Sister #2 (Whispered): A Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer production…


  1. Bahahahaha! I love it! You must film it so I can watch later...

  2. Laughed so hard! You get the best parts in the play. :D

  3. Hello,
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    Love In Christ,
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